The Forbidden Compounds Website - Handballing Guide.

It has not been very long since the days when I simply did not believe that someone could actually place their entire hand into someone else's rectum; nor could I conceive of anyone wanting to do that. The reality of it came home when I witnessed the act at the Black Party of a popular Manhattan disco. That night I not only witnessed someone fistfuck another man, but he went in all the way to the shoulder! Needless to say I was nonplussed. As I stood there, drink in hand, watching this event occur on a stage set up above the bar, the only thought that ran through my mind was "that man is not going to walk out of here alive." Not only did he survive the experience, but as fate had it, I met him a couple of years later. He turned out to be one of the sweetest, gentlest and kindest men I ever met.

Although depth is not the object of handball, there are many men who enjoy depth, but there are few who can take it to the shoulder. Tom has over 10 years experience as a bottom and he has never experienced an injury. He explained to me that he is very careful about whom he plays with and he avoids heavy drugs.

Although the image of handball is strong, aggressive and powerful, it is really a very gentle, caring and intimate act. When I first heard about handballing, I mentally relegated it to the realm of the kinky and bizarre; an act performed by perverts and sado- masochists. Today I either have to consider myself a pervert or believe it to be an act that, although extreme, is definitely within the realm of physical possibility and the spectrum of acceptable sexual behavior. No matter what view one may hold of handballing, and whether or not one chooses to participate in this activity, it is nothing to be afraid of. Handballing is simply another way of exploring the feelings that the body has to offer.

Some argue that handball is not natural. But is there any form of sex that is 'natural'? The only type of sex that I would call 'natural' is heterosexual coitus for the purpose of procreation - and even straights have abandoned that notion. Sex for pleasure is purely the product of the human mind. Oddly enough even some men who are continuously searching for bigger and bigger dicks and think nothing of inserting large dildoes and other objects into their asses, find the thought of handballing appalling. Many men fear releasing control to another person. Yet, the level of trust and intimacy that handball requires is central to the intense physical and psychological pleasures that it provides.

II. The Depths of Desire

There are a number of reasons why I have wanted to write this book. On one level it is a way of vindicating myself and my behavior. As a writer, I have a great need to analyze and understand myself and the world around me. It is not enough for me to just 'feel'; I always have to set my feelings to words. Is through words that I come to understand. I do not see myself as a pervert or sado- masochist. I am a sane, intelligent, educated and rational man with the desire to explore anal pleasure to its limits. I have a deep respect for my health, my body and my mind. I would never participate in any activity that would purposely hurt me or others. Sex for me has always been a positive and pleasant enterprise to be carried out without shame.

Getting involved in handballing did, however, force me to re- evaluate myself and my desires. The insertion of a fist into an ass carries with it powerful overtones of dominance and submission and shades of S&M. In addition, the potential physical dangers involved are very real. Before I could accept handball as a legitimate sexual act I had to know everything about it. Unfortu- nately information on this subject is difficult to come by.

The little information that is available on handball barely covers the subject except to alert you to its dangers. There was no account I could find that detailed exactly what is involved, that presented the necessary precautions and preparations, or that outlined the anatomical and physiological aspects. The only publications that I could find that purports to be any sort of guide is "The Fist Fucker's Manual." That book only served to frighten me as the main purpose of the book is to present fiction- alized accounts of what may be the author's fantasies, but would be dangerous if carried out in reality. A more recent book, The Divine Androgyne, (Sanctuary Publications, San Diego, CA) places handballing within the framework of Eastern Philosophy. Although not an objective guidebook, it is beautifully written and illus- trated and well worth reading.

The Intelligent Man's Guide to Handball - the sexual sport is a synthesis of information obtained through interviews with medical doctors, interviews with other handballers, information obtained from the medical literature, information based upon anatomy and physiology as well as my own experiences. This book is as much an account of my own journey as it is an objective presentation of the facts; many times the only 'facts' that were available were those that I deduced for myself. The Guide is the book I wish I would have had when I first started out.

For the reader who is considering getting involved with handball, I hope that I have provided enough solid information upon which a decision can be made. For those readers who are merely curious about the subject, I hope that The Guide helps to place handballing with the spectrum of acceptable sexual behavior. Handball is just one more form of sexual expression, it neither replaces nor discounts other forms.

Handball arouses a great deal of emotion. Although is seems that every homosexual is curious about the practice, the feelings it arouses are polar: men are either all for it or totally repelled by it. This situation is a result of the great amount of ignorance that exists about the subject. Though the practice of handball is continually gaining in popularity, there is a general avoidance of the topic - both in the media and in conversation. When it is discussed, it usually as some sort of bizarre perversion. The gay media has particularly avoided the issue.

When the gay newspaper, The Advocate, ran a series of
articles on gay organizations in America ("A Survey of
Gay Organizations", 1976) it made no mention of FFA (Fist
Fuckers of America), TAIL (Total Ass Involvement League),
MAFIA (Mid America Fists in Action), or the Catacombs.
Navin, Helen. Medical and Surgical Risks in Handballing:
Implications of an inadequate socialization process.
Journal of Homosexuality, 6(3):69, 1981.

The few articles that have appeared in the gay media have been decidedly negative. This is irresponsible. Carried out in ignorance, handballing can be dangerous. I find it contradictory that gay magazines will publish fiction in which fistfucking occurs and yet not publish articles on the hows and whys of it.

Handballing is treated as a taboo subject and because of this there is a great amount of fear and ignorance. From a political perspective there are some who believe that the practice will hinder the assimilation of gays into mainstream society, i.e. news of it will somehow slow down our ability to gain equal rights. If the price of equality is our sexuality, do we really want that 'equality'? Anal sex in general and handball in particular are not the sole properties of homosexuals. Everybody has an asshole, gay or straight. Behind the drawn shades of Middle America's tract houses, millions of heterosexual couples play anal sex games and

. . . we suspect this practice of fist fornication to become more popular among heterosexual couples.

Sohn, Norman et al. Social Injuries of the Rectum. The American Journal of Surgery.. 134:612, 1977.

Sex is essentially an activity of the mind for which the body is only the agent. There are myriad sexual variations many of which are potentially more dangerous than handball - bondage, whipping, suffocation, piercing, etc. Handball, however, appears to arouse the greatest amount of fear. A real evaluation of the practice of handball should be based on information and not fear.

III. Anal Pleasure/Anal Pain

It must be admitted that not everyone, not even all homosexual men, accept any form of anal stimulation as a valid source of sexual pleasure. As free thinking men we have the right to choose what does and does not give us pleasure. The very sensations that are interpreted as pleasurable by one group of men are seen as painful by another. Anal sensations are not by nature either pleasurable or painful. The negative or positive attitude that one develops about anal sensations appears to be a learned response possibly associated with one's early toilet training and family attitudes toward defecation.

This process of self-alienation is especially pronounced
in the anal area which often is the bodily symbol of all
that is unclean and disgusting. It is understandably
confusing that part of the body which is supposed to be
so unsavory is also extremely sensitive and potentially
among the most enjoyable. Especially for a child, the
discovery that the anus is considered bad and repulsive
must be confusing, since the idea is in direct contradic-
tion to his or her pleasurable experience. Morin, Jack.
Anal Pleasure and Health, Down There Press, Burlingame,
CA, 1981. pp 1-2.

Fecal waste material is not a sexual stimulant and it may be difficult for some too disassociate the anus from its excretory function and view it as a sex organ. Anal sensations appear to be neutral ones open to being subjectively interpreted as either pleasurable or not by the individual. An anal retentive person is one who is uptight, cannot relax, must continually carry the burdens of life upon his shoulders, and cannot enjoy pleasure. A person who can enjoy anal sensations is one who likes himself enough to let go of problems and worries and allow himself pleasure.

IV. Is Handball Dangerous?

The question "Is Handball Dangerous?" can be easily answered: yes it is. So is smoking cigarettes, driving a car, crossing the street, and taking a bath. The question should really be "is handball so dangerous that it should be avoided?" The answer to that question is not as simple and requires one to analyze the available information, weigh the possible risks against the pleasures, and decide for oneself. The little that is written on the subject is contradictory.

. . . all of the many doctors I spoke to in preparation
for this book felt that fistfucking is about the most
dangerous current sex practice . . . It can kill you.
You may feel no pain, but if you're being fistfucked your
partner quite literally has your life in his hand(s).
Fenwick, R.D. The Advocate Guide to Gay Health, E.P.
Dutton, New York, 1978, pp 64, 66.

. . .when it is approached slowly, gently and with
minimal or no drug use, the risk of physical damage is
probably low. In fact by promoting very deep relaxation
it may, in some cases, actually be beneficial. Morin
p 109.

Larry Kramer, writing a fictional account of homosexual
encounters in Faggots (1978) says, "Fist-fucking is quite
popular with some of the boys. I heard they had twenty
deaths last year from holes in the stomach [sic] at St.
Vincent's in the Village alone." (p. 356) Surgical
personnel in the Emergency Department of St. Vincent's
in New York deny this categorically. Emergency incident
involving bowel trauma probably do number 20 during a
year, but no deaths have occurred in the Emergency
Department, nor subsequently in cases requiring surgical
intervention. Navin, p 71.

Stories of deaths resulting from fist-fucking are rampant; especially among non-fist-fuckers. One would have to be a true idiot to pursue something the inevitable result of which would be one's demise. I assure you that handballers are not suicidal. I found no substantiation of any death resulting from fist-fucking. Injury can occur and it the injury is serious and left uncared for, death can result. Death would then be a function of stupidity and not fist-fucking. Contrary to what Mr. Fenwick says in The Advocate Guide to Gay Health, you would feel this type of injury. Peritonitis resulting from perforating the colon produces severe cramps.

I have attended numerous handball parties and have met at least a thousand men who are handballers. Not once have I witnessed an injury of any sort and at the end of each party everyone who attended walked out both happy and very much alive. This to me is the best evidence of the relative safety of handballing.

V.Take Two Suppositories and Call Me In the Morning

In the face of contradictory reports, rampant gossip, lack of valid information, and my own ignorance, I turned to my doctor for advice. My doctor is young (under 40), straight, and married. I must admit that is was with some trepidation that I broached the subject with him, and I expected a violent negative reaction. Instead he told me that the anus and colon are very strong muscle groups, quite capable of accepting a fist. As long as it is carried out with gentleness and care, without force, the anus is quite capable of safely accepting large objects. Although Doctors as a group are not known for their liberal attitudes and often share the same prejudices and irrational fears of the culture, I recommend that you discuss handball with your physician. In this way he would be able to advise you and give you his feelings on the subject. In addition, he would be aware of what you are up to and be ready to treat you properly should you ever require medical attention. Of course your Doctor may have never heard of handball! Here is a frightening tale from The Advocate Guide to Gay Health:

. . . Once in the emergency room, the young man blurted
out that he'd been messing around" the night before, that
his sexual partner had "stuck his arm up me, all the way
to the elbow." The physician on duty was immediately
skeptical. "What kind of drugs were you taking?" "Just
some grass and a little amyl." "No, you've dropped acid,
" replied the physician. "You know and I know that it
isn't possible to stick your arm up someone's rear end.
Your hallucinating."
The young man was heavily sedated with Thorazine . . .
That night the pain became so intense that he had to
return to the hospital, where an emergency "appendectomy"
revealed extensive peritonitis. The young man died.
Fenwick, p. 67.

I really don't know how true this story is as the author does not provide any reference source or other substantiation, but one wonders what kind of training this doctor received.

The folds of anal tissue give the anal canal a striking
capacity for expansion, depending on the level of
muscular tension. For example, during rectal surgery,
under anesthesia, a person's anal muscles can be easily
dilated so the surgeon's entire hand can pass through the
anal canal. This same expansiveness is called upon in
"fisting" or "fist fucking" which is a popular sexual
activity among a few people. These extremes are not
experienced by most people, but they illustrate the fact
that anal tissue can easily and safely expand for
fingers, penises, etc. Morin, p 69.

The amazing ability of the anus to expand is something that one learns from a study of the basic anatomical structure of the area. I find it quite surprising that any physician would be unaware of this. Be that as it may, it is very important that anyone who experiments with handball make his physician aware of it.

Homosexual men should recognize that doctors and nurses,
unless themselves gay, are unlikely to be aware of the
practice of handballing. Because so few articles on
handballing have been published in medical journals, and
none in nursing journals only very alert physicians will
be well informed about the subject . . . If adequate
medical treatment is to be obtained, the homosexual
client must provide the doctor or nurse with a full
patient history regardless of the reaction by the person
taking the medical history. Navin, p 75.

VI. Why Is the Ass Like A Musical Instrument?

An understanding of the anatomical structure and physiological purpose of the anus and rectum reveals both the source of the anatomical possibility of handballing and the source of the physical pleasure derived from it.

The rectum is a tube-like structure made of loose folds
of soft, smooth tissue. Its total length is about eight
or nine inches. Normally the rectum is more open and
spacious than the anus. Like the anus, it has a striking
capacity to expand. Morin, p 103.

The lower intestinal system forms essentially one continuous tube from the large colon to the sigmoid colon, thence to the rectum and anus. It is characterized by folds, called fossa, and curves. These folds give the system the ability to expand in much the same way as an accordion. The physiologic purpose of the lower intestinal system is as a waste compactor and eliminator. It is anatomically structured to deal with the movement of bulky material. The fossa allow the system to expand to accommodate the bulky material that it must deal with, and the smooth muscle that composes the walls of the system moves the material along it. A lining of mucosal tissue lubricates the procedure. By its nature then, the anal canal (the anus or anal opening) and the rectum are capable of learning to adapt to various sizes and to develop the flexibility and strength to deal with new demands.

The parts of the body that are of direct concern to handballing are the anal canal and the rectum.

The anal canal and rectum are usually called upon to release material. Handballing or the insertion of any object into the anal canal requires that the system operate in reverse.

The anal canal consists of both the external and internal sphincter and forms the anus itself. The anal canal is a very strong muscle group designed to expand and stretch to accommodate variously sized excretions. The anal canal is controlled by both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system, i.e., it functions by itself without the need for thought, but it can be taught to respond to one's will. After all, one does not defecate wherever one finds oneself. We have learned to retain our need for a bowel movement until we reach a proper locale - normally a toilet. Practitioners of anal sex have learned to control the anal canal to a great degree and to willfully relax the anus to accommodate whatever object is being placed in it. Handball requires great control over the anus. In time and with patience the anus can learn to allow a fist through. Depending upon the amount of anal experience a person may already have, the anal canal will either be ready or not to accept a fist. This also depends upon the size of the fist in question; a small fist will be easier to accept than a large one. Just as one does not expect to develop a 48-inch chest overnight, neither should one expect to be able to accept a fist on the very first or even second try. Gentle unforced practice over time will develop the anal canal. Force can only lead to pain and injury.

How can you tell if the anus is ready to take a fist? It is quite simple: if there is pain, it is not ready. Unless you like pain, be patient with yourself and allow your anus to tell you when it is ready. This may require months or even a year or more, but you have your whole life. Do not let anyone force you to go beyond what you feel is your capacity at the moment.

The rectum itself is already a cavity: it is a depot or way-station for fecal material waiting to be eliminated through the anus. The rectum, therefore, usually does not pose as much a problem as the anus in accommodating a fist. There are some things about the rectum that you should be aware of, however.

The rectum is a muscle and, unless you've done a lot of experiment- ing with large dildoes, it is probably not accustomed to accommo- dating an object the size of a fist. Like the anal canal, the rectum also requires patient training. By the time the anus is ready to allow a fist through, the rectum is usually ready to accommodate it. A fist or any object that is too large for the rectum can cause a mucosal laceration. This is not serious, but may require medical attention and a prescription for antibiotics.

Once you have decided that you are ready and you allow your anus to slide down a well-lubricated hand to come to rest upon and grip your partner's wrist, the feeling will be very intense. It is a difficult feeling to describe and, although it should not be painful, the sensation may be so new and intense that you may not know if it is pleasure or pain. Over time, as you learn these new feelings, the intensity of entry diminishes. The new demands that you are placing upon your anus and rectum require it to stretch beyond what it normally expects.

Your partner inserts his hand into the anus by folding the fingers and following the natural curvature of your rectum. The thumb is kept in the palm and as the activity progresses the fingers fold over the thumb to form a fist. The intensity of the sensation comes from the act of stretching the rectal walls with the fingers. Once the fist is formed, the rectum is called upon to accommodate the bulkiness of the fist itself, and there is a great sensation of release as the anus is allowed to constrict around the wrist.

Although much of the pleasure of handball comes from the feeling of bulkiness, you may or may not be able to take it in the beginning and may want your partner to remove his hand almost immediately. This is very common and do not hesitate to let your partner know what you want. Removal of the hand can be as intense as insertion, however, and even though you may feel you want the hand out as soon as possible do not allow your partner to quickly pull it out and do not 'push' it out. By this time you have learned what it takes on your part to allow the hand to get into your rectum and you should follow the same, careful procedure in reverse. You can control the removal (and the insertion) by taking deep and slow breaths. From my own experience, I would say that learning to breathe deeply and slowly is the key to controlling the anus.

On the other hand, you may not want the immediate removal of the hand. When you reach this you are ready to enjoy the feeling of a fist in your rectum. Have your partner keep his hand completely still and allow yourself to feel the sensations of your rectum as it accommodates the fist.

Given the anatomic and physiologic nature of the anus and rectum - muscle groups designed to deal with the movement of matter of changing bulk - it should come as no surprise that through exercise the system can learn to accept something as large as a hand. As noted above, surgeons often place their entire hands into anesthe- tized patients during rectal operations. It is not an utterly foreign procedure, but doing it for sexual pleasure is an entirely different matter.

VII. Why Do It At All?

It appears that handballing requires a lot of time and patience, and as you read on you will realize that there are a number of important precautions and preparations that should be followed to pursue it safely; as a top or as a bottom. I personally do not believe that anyone should just be a top, and I would never trust anyone to play with me who has not experienced it for himself. To be a successful top one must know what it feels like to be a bottom.

Even after taking the time and effort to train your body for handball, you may decide that it isn't for you and give it up. So why do it at all? The answer, of course, is that the pleasures to be derived from handball are incredible. Handball is unlike anything else, even penile/anal sex. Handballing offers physical and psychological pleasures that go beyond what most people normally experience.

Handballing is not for everyone, and before going on to describe the physiologic basis for the pleasures involved in handball, I will turn to a sobering account of the very real potential dangers involved in the act.

VIII. The Gruesome Details

A review of the medical literature reveals very little about handballing. The available articles on the subject do, however, indicate the types of injuries that may result from handballing. The most common injuries are:

- mucosal laceration, i.e., a cut in the mucosal lining of
the rectum or colon. This is usually cared for with
antibiotics. Sometimes a laceration will require
stitching.

- muscle tear, i.e., overstretching the anal canal (anus).

This can result from forcing a hand that is too large
into an anus that is not properly relaxed. This will
often cure itself by simply leaving it alone for a while.

- bowel perforation, i.e., breaking through the muscle wall
of the rectum or colon. This is the most serious type of
injury because it leads to contamination of the peritone-
um or body cavity (peritonitis) and requires an emergency
operation. Uncared for, peritonitis can be fatal.

"Social Injuries of the Rectum" (Sohn et al. The American Journal of Surgery, 134:611-612, 1977) is both a report on 11 cases of injury resulting from handball and a survey of 60 homosexual men who practice handballing. Of the 11 cases reported, 6 were mucosal lacerations that occurred in the rectum; 2 of the men required sutures. Four of the 11 cases involved perforations at or near the sigmoid curve (the upper end of the rectum that connects with the ascending colon). These 4 men required emergency operations and suffered from peritonitis. Surgery was performed to close the perforation and the peritonitis was treated with antibiotics. One of the four men required a temporary colostomy. The last case was of a man who suffered incontinence, and the article does not report on the treatment involved in this case. Incontinence, i.e., the inability to control bowel movements, appears to be extremely rare. In fact it appears that handballers develop increased control over their bowels rather than less. The 11 cases were seen over a period of four years at the Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City. Although the article is sobering, it fails to place the 11 cases in statistical perspective. Is 11 cases over 4 years a great or minor amount? What percentage of the active population does 11 cases represent? Under what conditions did the injuries occur?

It appears that serious injury can only occur if force is combined with heavy drug use. In fact, the use of drugs is probably the most dangerous aspect of handballing and not the act itself. Drugs blot out sensation and common sense. Combining heavy drugs with handball is dangerous. The chance of serious injury also increases with depth. In going for depth the hand must be open, thereby exposing the fingertips and nails to the muscle wall. Injuries deep into the rectum and colon are more difficult to treat simply because they are less accessible. If the hand is kept closed into a fist and maintained in the rectum, it is unlikely that injury will occur.

The report on the survey helps to clarify the subject a little more. The authors distributed 200 questionnaires and 60 men responded. The article does not note how the questionnaires were distributed nor does it indicate how the men were chosen.

The results of the survey were:

Average age
38.4 years

Age Range
20 - 52 years

% Drug Use
"most" - the article fails to give a
% and defines 'drug' as amyl ni-
trite, marijuana, LSD, mescaline and
alcohol.

% Tops
17%

% Bottoms
12%

Both Top and Bottom
71%

# of injuries
3 (5%) - 'injury' was defined as
perforation of the rectum or colon
requiring a laparotomy (incision) to
control.

The authors conclude that the number of injuries involved is significant and that the medical profession should expect to see an increase in such injuries. If this is true then why is it that I could not locate more reports in the medical literature? Although the article does not allow for any substantial conclusions, it does bring attention to the fact that injuries can and do occur.

A more recent article entitled "Brachioproctic Eroticism" (Lowery, TP and Williams, GR. British Journal of Sexual Medicine, January, 1981:32-33) reports on a survey conducted in San Francisco. The authors distributed a questionnaire at leather bars, bookstores, homosexual conventions (sic), 'specialty' nightclubs, and doctors' consulting rooms. The authors also ". . . visited a social club which specializes in participation in this activity, and did detailed interviews of several participants." The results of the survey were:

# Respondents
102

Mean Age
34.1 years

Age Range
22 - 54 years

Drug Use
Always - 37%

Almost Always - 42%

Sometimes - 20%

Types of Drugs
(In order of preference) marijuana,
amyl nitrite, methylene dioxyam-
phetamine (speed), alcohol, and
cocaine. Other drugs included LSD,
methaqualone (quaaludes) and isobu-
tyl nitrite (poppers)

Depth of Penetration

Average - 26.6cm (ca. 10 Inches)

Range - 7 - 53 cm (ca. 3 - 21 Inches)

Depth of penetration was self re-
ported on a sketch of an arm. 24%
reported penetration by 2 hands
simultaneously and 17% reported
penetration by a foot.

Douching
88% (i.e., taken an enema)

Description of the Experience

Positive - 85% reported the experience in favorable to ecstatic terms.

Mixed - 8%

Negative - 8%

# Injuries
3 (3%) ". . .3 cases of peritonitis
from perforation by a careless drug
intoxicated partner. These subjects
required surgery and prolonged hos-
pitalization."

With regards to the number of injuries reported the authors conclude that
"...it is remarkable what extraordinary physical activities can be conducted with relatively infrequent harm, i.e., one perforation per 2,000 insertions."

This report has more substance than the first and gives enough detail so that the injuries involved in handball can be placed in some informed perspective.

It is undeniably apparent that injury can occur from handball. No one really knows how many men practice handballing or how many get injured doing it. Injury is not fatal, however, it can be serious and expensive. Injury appears to occur under conditions that can be controlled: drug abuse and irresponsible behavior.

In addition to the above, Helen Navin (previously cited) reports the possibility of coronary problems. although she does not cite any case, she states that "there can be no serious doubt, however, that vigorous massage, as in handballing, can produce transient arrhythmias or even fatal effects on the heart." (p 74)

In conclusion if one is going to handball, one must be willing to accept the risks. Do the pleasures of handball outweigh the risks involved?

IX. Minimizing the Dangers

Handball is an intense physical experience that must be approached with respect; respect for the act itself and respect for one's body and health. Is there an 'intelligent' way of approaching hand- balling? The dangers can be minimized by applying common sense.

It may be helpful to always keep a certain amount of cautious fear in the back of your mind to help maintain control over the act and force you to approach it with care. To lessen the possibility of injury, the following suggestions may be helpful:

1. Make sure the fingernails of the top are closely cropped and
smoothly manicured. The fingernails are the only part of the
hand that can seriously threaten to cause a perforation. It
is always acceptable for the bottom to check his partner's
nails.

2. Use copious amounts of lubrication. Never attempt handballing
without lots of grease. It is not uncommon to use a pound or
more of lubrication in one session. The type of lubricant is
also important. Vegetable based products such as Crisco,
Lube, Elbow Grease etc. are perfect. Stay away from KY jelly
and other water based preparations. Never use petroleum based
lubricants either as they may damage the mucosal lining.
Motor oil may be butch, but is definitely not recommended.
Other things to avoid are hand lotions, facial cremes, or
preparations that contain perfumes or other additives.

3. Avoid misusing drugs. In this sport, getting there is more
than half the fun. The excitement that you get when first
learning the sport will never be the same again. If you are
going to do it at all, enjoy the trip. Do not use drugs to
dull the very sensations that you are seeking. Let your body
be your guide.

4. Do not penetrate deeper than the rectum itself and keep the
hand closed into a fist. As the hand enters the rectum, it
almost naturally folds as it follows the curve of the rectum.
Although there is great pleasure involved in being massaged by
the fingers, it is safest to stay with the closed fist until
you gather experience. It is always acceptable to advise your
partner as to what you want before you begin to play.

5. Never apply force. If the anus is ready and relaxed enough to
accept a fist, it will do so. Force can lead to injury. If
there is pain (or even if you think there is pain) it is time
to stop. You have all the time in the world to learn.

X. Anatomy and Pleasure: It's the Stretch Not the Depth

There is no available material, no Master's and Johnson's or Kinsey Report detailing what happens during handball or why its so intensely pleasurable. Because of this, this account of the anatomical demands and physiologic responses involved in handball is a subjective one based upon my own experiences. Interviews with other men suggest that my description of the experience is similar to others. Although there are many similarities, it must be noted that the experience is very different for each individual. In addition, it is never the same for each individual. There are many variables that influence the experience. These include:

- the level of experience and competency of the top;

- the level of trust between the partners;

- the physical state of the bottom. For example, douching
may sometimes make the anus very sensitive;

- the environment, e.g., in a group situation or one-on-one
in someone's home.

The first physical demand that is made upon the anus is to stretch.

Hands come in various sizes. The circumference of a hand at the widest part ranges from 10 to 15 inches, and the length of the hand and fingers also varies, which in turn varies the bulk of the hand.

The smaller the hand, the easier it is to insert. Men with small hands are very popular on the handball circuit.

The anus is highly sensitive with many nerve endings. As the top slowly massages the anus and rectum by first massaging the outer folds and then by inserting one finger at a time into the rectum, the bottom experiences increasing degrees of stretch. The feeling of stretch reaches its peak as the hand reaches the knuckles. If the bottom is physically and mentally ready to allow the hand to completely enter, the next sensation is of relief. The anus slides down the hand to come to rest around the much smaller wrist. Of course, wrists also come in various sizes. As the hand enters the rectum, there is the added sensation of fingers completing there folding into the palm, forming the fist. The bottom usually moans very loudly at this step. Handballing is generally a very loud activity. It involves playing with your guts and its ridiculous to try to be 'civilized' at a moment like that!

The physical sensation within the rectum is very different since the rectum is mainly composed of smooth muscle and has fewer nerve endings. The main sensation is one of great bulk; as if you have to make a great big bowel movement. A tension appears to be produced between the body's desire to eliminate the hand and the maintenance of the hand inside the rectum. The body interprets the hand as material to be eliminated, the smooth muscles respond with relative degrees of spasm, and the tension appears to cause dilation of the muscle walls. All of these reactions constitute the physiologic basis for the pleasures of handball - and this is only the beginning! As experience is gained, the pleasures of manual stimulation of the prostate gland, bladder and other internal organs begin to reveal themselves.

As the rectum is gently stimulated by the top, the spasmodic response increases and creates the anal orgasm. The anal orgasm is similar in many ways to the spasmodic response involved in penile orgasm, except that it can last for a much longer period of time; literally for hours if you (and the top) have the stamina!

XI. A Note on the Penis

In handballing the penis is not the center of attention, the ass is. Although most men experience erection and have penile orgasms (often multiple) simultaneously with the anal orgasm, some men do not and others have penile orgasms only some of the time. It is sometimes difficult to coordinate both sets of responses, and this is particularly true at the beginning. The anal orgasm is very satisfying in itself and, in fact, often pales by comparison.

Many men believe that penile orgasm is impossible during handball. This is completely untrue.

Persons who know about handballing but have never
practiced it often believe that handballing does not
produce an ejaculation. To be sure, the more experienced
handballers may be more intrigued by the more gymnastic
and sportive aspects of the practice, in which the main
objective is not ejaculation but rather the extent of
insertion (frequently well past the elbow) or the ability
to insert two hands simultaneously (with the second hand
slid in next to the first). There are, however, many
handballers for whom ejaculation is the primary objective
and who desire to ejaculate as many times as possible in
an evening. (Navin, p 69)

As a final note, Tom, the gentleman that I mentioned earlier who takes it to the shoulder, always has a penile orgasm. Until you learn how your body responds, achieving a penile orgasm may be difficult, but the 'work' involved is also part of the fun.

XII. The Pleasures of Topping

The greatest pleasure involved in being the inserter or top in handball is the tremendous feeling of power that one gets. It is not the feeling of power over another person, but a feeling of power over the ability to give another man such tremendous pleasure. It is truly delicious to have another man moaning and groaning in ecstacy before you, and it is visually exciting to see your hand completely inside another man's ass! It is not easy to be a good top, and in may ways the role is more demanding than being a bottom. It takes a lot of experience to be a good top for a good top must be intuitively tune into the individual uniqueness of the man he is playing with.

To be a top carries a great responsibility. There is great pleasure in feeling capable of carrying out the responsibilities of giving pleasure, making sure that you are gentle and do not hurt your bottom, and in being so totally trusted by another human being. It truly feels like you have another man's life literally in your hands, and in many ways you do.

Responsibility is the keyword in being a good top: the top is both responsible for expertly giving another man pleasure as well as making sure that he does not hurt him. Although it is true many men first get involved in handball as tops and then, as they become curious about the intense pleasure that the bottoms appear to experience, begin to learn how to bottom, I do not completely agree with this notion. I, personally, will not play with someone who is 'only a top'. I simply cannot trust someone who has not experienced being a bottom enough to let him enter me. I do not believe that someone can be a good top unless he also knows what it feels like to be a bottom. When there is a fist in your ass you are in a very vulnerable position and I would not entrust anyone with my body who does not know firsthand what that vulnerability feels like. Of course, this is different from someone who prefers to top but has also bottomed.

A top is a man who finds the ass to be beautiful and sexually exciting. A top 'gets off' on the feeling of being completely capable of bringing another man to the extremes of pleasure. When I top I often ejaculate without directly stimulating myself, the experience is so exciting.

An important rule for a responsible top is to always do exactly what your bottom tells you to do, without hesitation. Remember that he is at the other end of your arm and undergoing intense sensations; let him guide you as to your pace, positions, rhythm and movement. As you become proficient at topping you develop the ability to 'read' an ass. The bottom will always communicate what he wants; this may be verbal but is often sensory.

The hand is a very sensitive instrument. It is the instrument that plays the piano, creates art, comforts children, and performs surgery. When one thinks of the sensitivity of the hand and the symbolic and psychological functions that our culture ascribes to it, it is only natural that it should be used as an instrument of sexual stimulation.

A top develops the ability to sense every response. A top can read the relative levels of tension and relaxation in an ass and uses this information to guide his actions. A top is patient. One of the virtues of handballing is that it takes much longer than other forms of sexual expression. A session can last 2, 4 hours or more and often can go all night! It is very important to always take all the time that is necessary. Handball should never be rushed. It is not a form of sex that is conducive to being performed in backrooms. Patience is particularly important if the bottom is inexperienced. The amount of time necessary to massage an anus to an appropriate level of relaxation can be considerable. On the other hand an experienced bottom can be insatiable and never want you to stop! A good top has a lot of stamina.

Communication is very important in handballing. Intimacy plays a great role in handball and it is not appropriate in an anonymous setting. It is advisable to talk with your partner before you play. This allows for the building of the very important bond of trust. Your partner must learn that you can be totally trusted and that your only intention is to give him pleasure. Talking is particularly important if you are an inexperienced top. If you are a novice, tell your partner. If you have not developed the ability to know what your actions are doing to your partner, ask him to tell you. Do not hesitate to talk during sex. Ask the bottom if he likes what you are doing. An experienced bottom always knows what he likes, so let him tell you. Honesty, openness, and sincerity are important qualities that will immeasurably reward you.

A top always makes sure that his fingernails are well manicured. The hand, especially in the form of the fist, is rarely capable of causing injury. The nails are the only potentially dangerous parts of the hand. The next best thing to having the fingernails removed (or wearing rubber gloves) is to keep them short and smooth. A top should clip his nails as short as possible and then use the finishing side of an emery board to smooth and bevel the edges. file the nails at a 45x angle to bevel them smooth.

How can you tell if your nails are short and smooth enough? If you can successfully scratch your head or pick up a dime, your nails need more work.

XIII. The Pleasures of Being a Bottom

The feeling of a fist entering an ass has been described as being similar to giving birth. A close friend of mine who is both an M.D. and a handballer theorizes that one of the motivations to handball may be a jealous to the ability of women to experience the incredible sensation of childbirth. Another man has told me that to him handballing is experiencing his own birth. It does appear to hold the sensation of reaching back through time and of somehow returning to the womb. There is a very comforting and protective feeling, as if contact is made with some primitive, archetypal thread of life. The facades of civilization are dropped and the 'self' becomes more than just the lone, solitary human being making his quotidien way through his allotment of time.

The very first time that a fist made its way into my ass - after several months of trying - the feeling was one of an excruciating tension that was dramatically released at the moment of full insertion, and then was transformed into a soft, intensely joyous sensation of total submission. It felt as if I had relinquished control over my life to the man who occupied my ass with his fist, and I had. The first man to fist me was my lover and that increased the sensation of submission. Just as the unborn child is completely dependent on the mother, so I felt with my lover. It was the first time in my life that I had successfully unburdened myself of all the stresses of life. In submission there is a great sense of freedom; in the release of control to another person there is a great sense of being cared for. In the primitive sensations of the bowels there is an answer to the question "Who am I?" Since that day I believe that I have become a more complete person. I now approach life with greater awareness and the childlike sense of awe and wonder that I had lost on the way to adulthood was somehow restored.

As I gained experience and made my way through the world of handballing, I soon learned that there are two types of handball- ers. To some it is just another physical act. For these men, handball does not lead to self-knowledge or human community. The other type of handballer is one for whom handball is not only physical but potently psychological (or spiritual, if you are of that bent).

Handball has provided me with many close and intimate friends. Men who have shared the deepest part of themselves with me and have allowed me to express the depths of my being to them. In terms of my relationship with my lover, handball has deepened our respect for one another and has allowed us to reveal more of our individual selves to one another. This has not occurred without some trauma and near breakups, but along the way we have been able to almost completely drop that cloying possessiveness and jealousy that marks the exclusive, monogamous relationship. I have always felt that monogamy was detrimental to relationships (gay or straight), but how do you overcome the jealousies and insecurities that come with experimentation? Oddly enough, handball has provided an answer. It has allowed us to extend the concept of love so that it can include others in a positive and rewarding way. The friends that I have made are almost as much lovers to me as the lover that I live with. Just as my own lover would be by my side in time of need, so would these other men.

How can you tell the difference between the two types of handballers? You look into their eyes. In the beginning I could not tell the difference between the two, possibly because I did not know that handball went beyond the physical. I wondered why I could have sex with some men and come away feeling decadent, debased and perverted while with some other men I felt strong, alive and even wholesome. I wondered why with some men the act felt difficult and even painful, more work than play, while with other men it was completely pleasurable, effortless and fun. I wondered why some men made me want to run and hide while others literally made me want to cry for joy.

When you look into a man's eyes you can tell if he can be entrusted with your body. If you do not completely trust the man, your ass will not open up to him - it's as simple as that. There is nothing like the sensation of being literally in the hands of another man; someone who is totally focused on you, completely reads your responses, and intuitively reacts to them in away that not only brings you intense physical pleasure but allows you to learn about yourself and to love yourself.

XIV. Some Thoughts on Being a Bottom

The physical sensations involved in being a bottom are very intense. This is very true for the novice as these feelings are totally new. A point may be reached where you wonder if what you are feeling is pleasure or pain; this is not because the sensations are inherently painful, but because they are so new that you have not been able to categorize them. The best rule to apply as you experience these new feelings is if it feels like pain, then it is pain. At this point stop, at least temporarily. It takes time for the body to learn about this heightened degree of physical sensation that you are putting it through. It helps a lot to consciously keep your breathing slow and steady.

Many men resort to using drugs - pain killers and deep muscle relaxers - during handball. This is unnecessary and contradictory to the purpose of the act. Why blot out the very feelings that you are trying to experience? The sphincter muscles as well as the muscle wall of the rectum are designed to stretch. As with all muscle groups they need to be exercised and trained to meet the new demands being placed upon them. Take the time to let your body teach you about itself; allow yourself to experience all the feelings that handball has to offer. You have all the time in the world and a slow pace will be eminently safer and ultimately more rewarding.

The early experiences of handball are unique. As you become more experienced and learn how your body responds, the handball experience becomes something totally different. Although it remains very rewarding and satisfying, the feelings that you get when you are first starting out become lost and are never again to be regained. Don't throw these away by misusing drugs; cherish and enjoy the learning process.

As the anal muscles learn to stretch to the 10+ inches of circum- ference of a hand, there may be a point where there is real pain. Have your partner pull out some and spend more time gently massaging the muscles or stop completely and pick it up in another session. There is no rule that says you must be able to take a fist the very first time you try. In fact, I only know of 2 men who claim to have done so. It can take 6 months, a year or even longer before a person can successfully accept a fist into his rectum.

If you are a novice, let your partner know. If he is an experi- enced top, he will know how to approach you. He will adjust his tempo and actions to your body. Handball is not a game of dominance and submission, and control over the situation is always in the hands of the bottom. A good top will stop whenever you tell him to and will follow your every direction. Do not be afraid to talk or ask questions. Pain is not a part of handball, but learning new feelings can take time. Do not force yourself to go beyond your limits for any reason.

XV. Fear and Trust

The fear of being injured has a lot to do with how much your anus will relax. This fear never completely goes away and that is probably for the good since it acts as a controlling factor. Fear, however, is exhibited as anal tension. If you are very much afraid, there is no way that your body will allow a hand to enter it. Just as muscles need time to learn, you also need time to learn that you will not be hurt. This comes from experience and is not accomplished overnight.

Talking to other men is very helpful. The most convincing evidence as to the relative safety of handball is the men who practice it. Every sensible handballer has some fears and anxieties. It is very reassuring to listen to other men talk about their early experienc- es. You learn that you are not alone in your fears and that everyone has gone through very similar experiences.

The ultimate pleasure in being a bottom is the experience of total physical release and relaxation. This is as much psychological as it is physical. At the moment that you allow a hand to enter your ass, the moment you allow you allow yourself to experience the intense sensations involved in having your anus slide down a hand and close around a wrist, you must make a mental commitment to another man. The handball experience is based on trust. A bottom must be able to trust the top with his very life. This is not something that everyone can do. A top shares a great degree of intimacy with his bottom. After all, the bottom is, in a way revealing his very soul to him. Finding a person with whom you can share this intimacy and trust is very rewarding. Handball allows you to drop all facades and just be you. In handball the bullshit of life disappears.

XVI. Handball Anyone? Finding a Partner

If you are a novice at handball the best thing to do is find an experienced person who is willing to take the time to train you. To have one person with whom you can develop an open and trusting relationship is invaluable. Although, for obvious reasons, many bottoms do not like to play with inexperienced tops, there are many tops who take great pleasure in being able to train a novice. Just as a novice bottom may fear getting injured, so a novice top may fear hurting someone else. The point of handball, like all other forms of sex, is pleasure. It takes time to develop the surety of knowing that you will neither get hurt or hurt someone else. Insecurity can be quickly overcome if you have an experienced teacher.

If there is no experienced person available, the next best thing is to explore handball with another novice. A lover or friend who also wants to explore this form of anal stimulation can be a rewarding partner. If you approach handball with the respect that it requires, are willing to take the necessary time, and apply the gentleness and care, you will not hurt one another and will soon learn what it is all about.

If your circle of friends does not include either of the above, you might want to locate the local chapter of FFA or a similar group. The FFA usually meets in one of the city's more popular leather bars. One of the aims of the FFA is to provide a method of meeting people who want to safely explore handball.

XVII. Preparing for Handball

Douching. In addition to being a primary sex organ, another physiological role for the anus and rectum is one of elimination of the body's waste material. Due to this, fecal material can be encountered during handball unless the precaution of taking a complete enema is carried out. Although I had been douching long before I became involved in handball, it appears that this basic hygienic procedure is not a standard procedure for everyone. Feces can carry many germs and get in the way of enjoyment. One cannot enjoy handball unless one feels sure that he is completely clean. It is terribly dclass to present yourself to a top undouched. In addition, the intense anal stimulation that is involved in handball can cause waste material from the upper part of the intestines to move down into the rectum.

Douching can be carried out in a number of ways. A hose attached to the shower head or faucet with a valve to control the flow of water is the most popular method. This can be created with parts purchased from a hardware store. A commercial product called the Shower/Bidet does the same thing and comes complete with attach- ments. It costs about $45 and is available both in bookstores and by mail order. Other devices for douching include the ever popular enema bag and syringe, which is very convenient for travelling. Enema bags are available in any drug store as are syringes. Preparations such as Fleet, etc. are not recommended. They contain chemicals that, over time and with continual use will damage the sensitive tissue of the colon. Use only plain warm water. Techniques of douching are as many as there are men. Basically you want to let the water run around until it runs clear. Over time one develops an intimate relationship with one's bowels and learns to tell when one is completely clean. A novice at douching may find the procedure causes discomfort and may even make the rectum so tender as to not be able to have sex afterwards. This occasion- ally happens to the experienced person as well and there is really nothing that can be done about it.

Although I do not know of anyone getting hurt by douching, the medical literature contains more warnings against douching than it does about handball. Bear in mind that the tip of whatever device you employ to douche with is a solid hard object and treat it with respect.

Standard textbooks of nursing caution against excessive
enema pressure. The surgical literature contains
references to colonic ruptures from enemas, and the
senior author has seen two patients with colons perforat-
ed during barium enemas. No respondents reported injury
from enemas with household tap water pressure, a remark-
able finding, considering such an incautious and danger-
ous procedure.
(Lowery, p 33)

The use of plain water enemas solely for the purpose of
cleaning the anus and lower rectum is harmless. Many
people find that the feeling of cleanliness which results
makes them feel more relaxed since they are no longer
concerned about encountering feces during anal play.
(Morin, pp 73-74)

Douching, therefore, may not be completely harmless, but it is a necessary part of handball. One side effect of douching may be dependence. Douching causes some people to become dependent upon it for normal defecation.

Feces have the potential of spreading bacteria and disease (amebiasis). This is particularly true if you are in a group scene and play with more than one person during the evening. Douching helps prevent the spread of disease. In addition, always wash your hands thoroughly after a handball session and avoid coming into contact with your eyes or other mucous membranes until you do so.

The hand. The hand is a relatively blunt, rounded and soft object and, unless great force is used, the only parts of the hand that have the potential of causing injury are the fingernails. Make sure that you clip the nails and bevel them to a very smooth finish.

Lubrication. The most popular lubricant is Crisco (on the East Coast; the West Coast seems to prefer Lube). Whatever you use, make sure that it is pure and additive-free and that you have lots of it. Crisco does have and odor and can go rancid. Never use rancid Crisco as it may damage the mucosal tissue. During handball the hand and anus must be copiously greased.

The Play Area. No special equipment is needed for handball, just two men and a safe comfortable area where you know that you will not be disturbed or interrupted. Take the phone off the hook. Handballing can be messy, as everyone and everything tends to get covered in grease. Have plenty of paper towels available in the play area. It may be a good idea to limit the sexual activities to specific areas or rooms, remove all objects and furnishings you do not want to get greasy or at least cover them with sheets, mats or towels. You may also want to spread towels on the floors. Mover's pads are popular and protective. You can get them from mover's supply houses and they cost about $10-$15 each and are about the size of a double mattress. They are available in designer colors. To wash the grease off of your body use dishwashing liquid.

Toys. No special toys are needed for handball, but many people like to have variously sized dildoes available for the opening moves. The only piece of equipment that I personally like is the sling. Although the sling can be visually overwhelming and may conjure visions of S&M, it holds the body at the right height, provides support, and presents the ass in a manner that facilitates entry.

Drugs. Everyone has to make his own judgment as to whether or not to use drugs and what types. The evidence is quite clear that serious injury only occurs when the participants are drug-intoxi- cated. Avoid blotting out your senses and use common sense. The body. Handball will not destroy your body. There are many beautiful muscular men who handball. Maintain your exercise regime and you will stay as beautiful and attractive as ever.

Health. Although it is important to eat right and make sure you get your vitamins, there are no special health precautions necessary for handball. Many handballers do, however, maintain a megavitamin regime that includes large doses of vitamins C, E and B. In addition some men eat yogurt or take acidophilus (available in health food stores) to help replenish the bacteria of the intestines. A doctor who reviewed this book told me that it is almost impossible to obliterate the bacterial flora of the intestines and that other than following a normal health regimen, nothing special is required.

Techniques. Once inside the rectum, there are a few basic techniques that can be used to stimulate the ass. The most important thing is to do what feels safe and natural and pay very close attention to the bottom's responses. Other techniques include the twist, shimmy, piston, and the bellows. The twist involves rotating the fist in a circular motion so that the anus rubs against the wrist and the rectum rubs against the changing bulk of the fist. The shimmy is carried out by rapidly vibrating the fist. The fist is not moved, just vibrated. The piston involves moving the fist in and out of the rectum in a fucking motion. Advanced players often enjoy having the fist come completely out and then back in. The bellows involves opening and closing the fist slightly in order to increase the feeling of bulk.

Depth. Going in deep into the anus opens up a whole new set of sensations and allows for the stimulation of the prostate gland and other internal organs. Although many men can and do go to the elbow and beyond, most men find it difficult and painful to go beyond the sigmoid curve. The rectum and colon are naturally curved and the top must always follow that natural curvature and never apply force. Going in deeper requires that the hand be opened and that the rectum be allowed to slip over the fingers which are kept bunched together. Only the pads of the fingers are allowed to massage.

S&M. Many people believe that handball is an S&M activity. This is untrue.

Although in some instances there is indeed a crossover
between S&M and handballing, most members of each group
limit their activities to their own special activities.
(Navin, p 69)

The image of a fist in an ass is a visually powerful one and it is no wonder that handball has become mistakenly associated with S&M. Although some men who are into handball are also into S&M and vice versa, handball is not inherently an S&M act. In spite of its powerful imagery, handball is a very gentle and caring form of sexual expression.

Urine. During handball, the bladder, which is located directly above the rectum, becomes stimulated, and may create an intense need to urinate. Since the experience requires letting go and relaxing the anal and urinary functions, you may involuntarily urinate. Taking the precaution of urinating before beginning sex play will help avoid this. If you should urinate during sex play, it is nothing to worry about or be ashamed of. Have paper towels handy to urinate in, or, if the environment allows for it and you enjoy a little water sport, just let it fly.

Injury. If an injury occurs, there is often some pain or discom- fort at the moment as well as the presence of blood. If the injury is a perforation, cramping will occur after a few hours and a trip to an emergency facility is necessary.

The presence of blood may not, however, indicate serious injury. There are a number of things that may, on occasion, cause blood to appear.

- Muscles develop through a process of breaking down
and rebuilding. As the anal muscles learn to
stretch, the tissue may tear and cause blood. This
is usually not serious and will repair itself.

Take a rest from sex play for a week or two.

- If the rectum is sensitive, as from a difficult
douche, handballing may irritate the tissue and
cause some small blood vessels to break.

- Hemorrhoids and anal warts become irritated during
handball and can bleed.

Since you may not be able to distinguish between the presence of blood that may require medical attention and the presence of blood that does not, it is best to play it safe. Stop your activity immediately. Check the area every few hours to make sure the bleeding has stopped. If bleeding continues to the next day, see a doctor. The presence of blood is no reason to panic; it is rare but not uncommon. Of course a top must always tell his partner if blood is present after sex play.

XVIII. Going All the Way: A True Story

It was at the first meeting of a writers workshop at the New School that Bob first saw Sam. Bob was instantly attracted to the athletic looking man who sported a red hanky in the back left pocket of his Levis. It wasn't until the last meeting of the workshop, however, that Bob finally got up the courage to introduce himself to Sam. It turned out that Sam had also been attracted to Bob. They made a date for dinner for the following Friday.

That Friday Bob was beside himself. "It'll only be dinner this time, that's all. We'll talk and get to know each other." He told himself. "If we do play, it'll just be 'normal' sex." Yet Bob went out and bought a three pound can of Crisco, extra rolls of paper towels, and a new bottle of amyl nitrite.

Bob met Sam at Ty's on Christopher Street and from there they went to Trilogy, a gay restaurant. During dinner they had the opportu- nity to talk quite a bit and to learn about each other. Bob began to relax a bit. Sam was an aspiring playwright and they had a very intense conversation about the relative merits of fiction and theater. Bob learned that Sam was intelligent, sensitive, and sane.

When Bob ordered his third Black Russian, Sam realized that Bob must be very nervous.

"It's none of my business, Bob, but there's no need to drink so much," and Sam added with a smile, "Especially if we are going to play together later. I don't want you drunk. That's no fun at all."

Bob realized that Sam was right, "I'm just a little nervous, that's all."

"Nervous about what?"

"Well . . ."

There was a pause in the conversation. Sam lit a cigarette and looked Bob directly in the eyes.

"Have you ever tried fist-fucking?"

Bob nearly choked on his Black Russian. "No," he blurted out, "I mean, not really. I've been curious about it and sort of tried it a couple of times. I've experimented with a good friend of mine but I've never been able to go all the way. I guess that I'm afraid of getting hurt and of hurting someone else." Bob took a deep breath, "I mean it's dangerous, isn't it?"

Sam chuckled. "There's no denying that it can be dangerous. If you just do it with anyone who happens along and waste yourself with alcohol and drugs, then you're asking for trouble. I've been doing it for 7 years and I've never been hurt. I've never hurt anybody else either, and I don't ever intend to."

"Seven years!"

"Yup. You see, I always make sure that I play with someone that I can trust. Handball is not an activity that I do with just anyone, nor is it something that I do every day. I enjoy all types of sex play. With handball, I have to be sure that the person I play with will be careful and respect my body and my mind. Handballing has to be approached with a lot of respect. Under those conditions it can be a lot of fun. Not dangerous at all.

As the conversation continued and Sam explained to Bob that the ass was like an accordion, folded upon itself so that it could stretch, and about the precautions that one must take, Bob's anxieties and fears abated.

"Bob, why don't you come to my place tonight and we'll . . . experiment, OK?"

Bob hesitated, "I don't know . . ."

"Listen. It's your choice, I'm certainly not going to force you. I'm not into pain. S&M is not my game. In this sport there's an unwritten, but very real contract of mutual consent and respect. When you say stop, I'll stop. When you say go, I'll go. You control it, OK?"

Bob realized that Sam was the man he had been looking for. With Sam, he knew that he would be safe and the overwhelming curiosity that he had built up in himself about handball could finally be satisfied. "OK Sam, let's go."

Sam's loft apartment in the West Village was beautifully decorated in high tech fashion. They sat on the carpeted, raised platforms that made up the sofa and the bed, smoked a couple of joints and drank apple juice. While Bob douched, Sam covered the furniture with furniture pads and strategically placed Crisco, poppers, and paper towels in the play area that abutted a wall of mirrors. Sam lit a few candles and put on soft rhythmic music.

Naked, the two men held each other in strong embraces, nearly squeezing the air out of each others' lungs. They kissed with hard, masculine force. Sam massaged Bob's body. He began with the muscles of the head and neck, then the shoulders, arms, back, buttocks, chest and legs. With Bob on his back, Sam grabbed hold of Bob's balls and began gently rubbing them in the palm of his hand. Slowly, Sam began to apply a little more pressure, and then a little more on Bob's balls. As he played with Bob's balls, he began to suck his hard turgid cock. With slow, easy, long motions, Sam traveled the length of Bob's cock until the whole 8 inches was down his throat. Bob was in ecstacy. "Oh shit, I think I'm going to come. That feels so good, so good. . .!" Sam kept Bob in a state of exquisite torture, bringing him oh-so-close to coming and then changing the pattern or rhythm just enough to stop it. Bob moaned as Sam manipulated his balls and his cock in such an expert fashion.

Sam began sucking Bob's balls. He sucked them deep into his mouth and then let them slip out. Again and again he did this, heighten- ing the state of Bob's pleasurable agony. With Bob's wet hairy balls in his mouth, Sam began to eat Bob's asshole.

Bob's puckered hole excited Sam so much that his own cock was in a state of throbbing hardness. Sam began to lick Bob's hole getting it all wet with saliva. He alternately sucked Bob's asshole and then would push his tongue as deeply into it as he could. He loved to eat ass and Bob's ass was a tasty morsel indeed! Spreading Bob's cheeks with his hands, Sam went to town on Bob's ass. With his tongue working the saliva deep into Bob's ass, Sam massaged Bob's hole until it began to pulse, almost begging to be fucked.

Pushing Bob's legs into the air, Sam grabbed some Crisco from the nearby can and greased up his throbbing cock. Placing the head of his cock against Bob's anus, Sam, with deliberate slowness, gradually pushed his cock into Bob's ass until his own balls rested against Bob's ass. Sam increased the speed of his fucking until he was literally pounding Bob. His cock would go deep into Bob's ass, his pelvis would bang against Bob's, and then he would pull it all the way out, and then thrust it in again and again and again.

"Oh Jesus! I'm gonna come!" Bob exclaimed, breathing heavily, "I've gotta come!"

Sam slowed down and then pulled his cock out completely. "Not yet, Bob, not yet. There's more to come. . . a lot more!"

They took a short break then. They shared another joint. "How're you doing, Bob?"

"Just great. You're fabulous. That was wild!"

"You've got a beautiful, fucking ass, Bob, really beautiful. And I think that it is ready for what is coming next."

Bob looked deeply into Sam's eyes. There he saw the great pleasure that Sam was having and he also saw the deep respect and care that Sam had for him.

With Bob lying face down on his stomach, Sam began to massage his ass with his hand. Using plenty of Crisco, Sam worked the outer folds of Bob's anus with swirling motions of his fingers. Slowly Sam inserted one finger and then two into Bob's anxious ass. He spread his two fingers apart to form a V and continued to swirl his fingers until the muscles of Bob's anus began to loosen and relax. "Turn over." Bob turned over onto his back.

With Bob's legs raised into the air, Sam put in three fingers of his left hand. With the pads of his fingers he massaged the walls of Bob's rectum spreading Crisco around inside as he did so.

"Oh God, that's intense!"

"Are your OK, Bob?"

"Yeah. It feels great, just great."

Sam continued the massage. When he felt that Bob was ready, he inserted a fourth finger. Always being careful to follow the natural curve of Bob's rectum and of avoiding putting any force against the walls or of pushing against the hard coccyx bone, Sam spent a long time working out Bob's ass. After about 45 minutes, Sam had four fingers in Bob all the way to the crux of the thumb.

"I've got you ass now, baby, feel it? I've got your ass in my hand."

Bob looked into the mirror. The image of the two naked men reflected there excited him. "Yeah, I can feel it. It's wonder- ful. Take my ass Sam, take it!"

Sam took his hand completely out of Bob's ass.

While Bob, legs to the sky, watched, Sam theatrically spread a large handful of Crisco all over his hand and wrist. Sam extended his hand to Bob. "Feel my hand." Bob reached over and felt Sam's greased hand and smoothly manicured fingers. "It's real smooth, Bob, I'm not going to hurt you. It'll feel real good." Looking directly at Bob, Sam smiled a reassuring smile.

Once again beginning with one finger and then two, Sam worked at Bob's ass, gently forcing it to relax and release itself to him. Soon Sam had four fingers and the thumb inside the palm into Bob's ass. Reaching the point of maximum stretch, Bob moaned loudly. "Oh God, I don't know if . . ."

"Just relax Bob. Think of it as going out instead of in and keep your breathing deep, steady and even." Bob followed his direc- tions.

"Holy shit what's happening! Aaargh!" Bob was in intense ecstasy as his anus slid down Sam's greased hand. He could feel Sam's hand as the folded fingers completely formed a fist in his ass. "Oh God, oh God!" The feeling of relief was immense when his anus finally closed around Sam's wrist.

"You did it, Bob! You took the whole thing!" Sam's own cock throbbed wildly, on the verge of coming, at the sight of this virgin ass on his fist.

"Oh God, I don't believe it!" Bob moaned. The reflection in the mirror proved it, however, and Bob was incredibly turned on by the sight of the muscular man whose arm extended to his ass and whose fist was completely out of sight. "That's really intense, Sam."

"Yeah, it is. I know. I'm going to keep my fist completely still. Feel your ass adjust to it."

Bob was in excruciating ecstasy. He didn't know what to make of all these new feelings. He could feel his rectum dilate and adjust to Sam's fist. Very slowly, Sam began to move his fist inside Bob's ass. He turned it slowly to the right in a twisting motion. The feeling of Sam's wrist rubbing against his anus and of his fist rubbing against his prostate was very intense. "Oh God, that's really incredible!"

"You're ass is incredible. . . beautiful! How I love to see a man writhe and moan at the end of my arm!"

As Bob approached orgasm, Sam speeded up the movement of his fist just a little, matching his pace with Bob's masturbatory strokes.

Although Bob didn't completely realize it, he was experiencing an anal orgasm. His ass was in spasm, alternately relaxing and then tightening around Sam's fist. "Aaargh," Bob exclaimed as he brought his turgid dick to orgasm and shot what seemed like a gallon of hot, creamy cum all over himself.

Sam grabbed his own throbbing cock with his right hand and with just a few strokes came all over Bob. "Oh God, unghh, unghh!"